High Voltage Music

HOW TO NOT SUCK IN A BAND : THE OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL GUIDE

Every band really wants to make it big. No matter how much they say publicly that they don't care about the almighty dollar and global fame. You'll hear them say that it's all about the love of music. Shortly afterwards you'll see them posting messages about buying their music and buying tickets to their shows so you can "support the scene". Okay, so let's get real, sure, bands love the music but being rich and famous is also very cool. The bottom line to being rich and famous while loving what you do is that you've got to stand out in a crowd. Therefore, it is with great pride that we present this short guide to the long way to obscurity. Take note o' ye that bear the instruments of loudness. And take it with a grain of salt.

Rule 1 : You don't have to be exceptionally talented to make it. Knowing how to play certain riffs at certain speeds or knowing how to breathe correctly while singing are nice but not the IT factor in making it. Proof of this is in many bands around us today. Kiss is a band we truly dig but let's be brutally honest : Kiss did not make it huge on talent. You have heard Gene and Paul "sing" right ? Sure, they've got skills but even they have come out to admit they were in the right place at the right time with the right gimmick. So go forth and find the right time, place and gimmick and you're on the way to undeserved fortune and fame.

Rule 2 : Skid Row said it best when they said " You can't be King of the World if you're a slave to the grind. ". This rings true with local bands that garner a good network of local fans and local legend status in their own area. Basking in the limelight of those around you is a cool thing but it's easy for that light to be too bright and for bands to get comfortable with being Kings of their own back yard. If you want to reach the stars you've got to let go of the ground.

Rule 3 : Get your Facebook issues resolved. Some musician's want to be your friend on FB and some want you to see them as a star. It really can't be both ways. You can't name one mega star that actually posts often on their own Facebook and they didn't do that to get where they are now. Superstars are untouchable. That's the cold hard truth. Go ahead and be the guy next door but don't expect to be looked at as a friendly down to earth mega star that way either.

Rule 4 : Get naked. Okay, maybe not totally, but find some way to sex things up. Aside from the maybe 2% of bands that make it despite lack of sex appeal (please refer to Lemmy) and 2% of bands that make it on skill alone (please refer to Rush) most research, stats and number crunching shows that bands make it bigger because either A) there is a hot chick in the band dudes love or B) there is a hot dude in the band ladies love. Whether or not you agree it is what it be. So stop with the standard black concert tees and just take it off.

Rule 5 : Don't follow any rules. Everyone has the answer. Everyone is an expert. But it's your ass on the line so ultimately you decide your own fate. If you make it big it will be based on your choices that led you there. If you never become rich and famous then join the club. It could be a billion things that didn't go right. Maybe you didn't market correctly. Maybe you didn't fire the guy you should've fired long ago. Maybe it was the PR guys fault. Or maybe your music isn't as good as you think it is. But you'll never know until you try so just get out there and kick ass. Rules were made to be broken.